Webmaster Musings

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When I first visited the Mc Cloud River last fall, our awesome guide pointed out the Ah Di Nah campground as a great place to stay and fish. When the Golden West Women's Angling Club scheduled an outing there, I immediately signed up. Arrangements were made for camping, food prepped and packed, gear stowed and a 6 hour drive later, I was pulling on my waders and grabbing my fly rod.

As I walked towards the sound of the water, the river came into view. As I stood there I was struck by a moment of panic- I didn't know what to do! Where to start? What to fish? Even which way to wade?

The brush was oppressive. My clothes and skin were pulled at by berry bush thorns. My rod was hooked at every opportunity. I began wading in the water to get a little relief from the brush. Finally deciding that the only way I had a chance at meeting any Shasta Rainbow was to get a fly in the water, I loosened my rig and began fishing- anywhere... everywhere. I felt a bump! A few drifts later in a different spot, I felt it again. Nice! Right place, right time, right offering. All was a good sign that I was actually fishing. However, I had missed the sets and had no fish to hand. Oh- and how I love the smell of fish on my hands! The daylight was running short on my evening efforts and my stomach was growling in hunger. I began to play the "One last cast" game at a large pool. I had a bump or two but nothing grabbed well. When I finally got to my last- last cast, I felt a firm pull and set well and quickly. A beautiful 12 or 13 inch trout came into view on the end of my line. He had taken a caddis pupa and become my first Shasta Bow taken on the McCloud. And even more so, taken without the help of a mentor or guide. That felt like a big thing to me. It has taken me a long time to get to this point- the point where I catch a fish in a new place without someone to guide me or someone to follow. While I know experienced anglers would have caught a bunch of fish in this waterway, I was grateful for my one.... my first one!

#firstsoloshastabow

#firstMcCloudBow

#AhDiNahmojo

I am leaving Friday for a solo adventure to an epic waterway. My goal this year has been to explore new waters and become proficient at fishing them. In an effort to lay the groundwork, I am heading to the McCloud for four days. I will have three days to fish after I get there. I have hired an awesome guide for the first full day. The next two days I will be applying what he shows me on my own. I can't begin to tell you how excited I am.

I have been packing and preparing. I have made lists, checked them twice and written them again. I have the couch covered in fishing gear, camping gear and tying supplies. 

The days are dragging towards lift off but the to do list doesn't seem to be shrinking. All I know is that come Friday, the moment I load the kids on the bus at work, I am hitting the road. Let this adventure begin. Let's test my mettle and explore new skills. 

#newskillsinbeautifulplaces

#letsroll

#keepcalmandfishon

Last week I fished on Sunday. I caught a number of fish and the largest was a cool 17 inches. In this waterway, most fish range from 7 to 10 inches. I love caching these fish. However, when I catch a bigger fish it feels different. Here is a fish that survived better than the others. He has fed well, lived long enough to grow and therefore I assume, is smarter than your average fish. And for me, that makes catching him even more special.

So I caught this fish on Sunday. He had a distinct scar over his right eye. I took note and released him. He was the cherry on top of this awesome Sunday. 

I went back to fish the following Wednesday. This day was mellow from the start. Fish were caught and I felt super mellow. I went from spot to spot, fishing and having fun. I came upon the last pool and told myself that one more fish and I would hit the road for home. It had been a productive and relaxing day. I dropped my fly in and managed the drift on my tightline setup. The line pulled tight and the fish took more off the reel. It took me a little while to get the fish in and I could tell he was sizeable. Imagine my surprise when I got him in my net and saw a unique scar over his right eye- It was my buddy from Sunday. Same size. Same scar. I couldn't believe my eyes.

I got him to take my fly twice. My faith in catch and release was solidly reaffirmed. As I released him back into the river, I said a silent prayer that we would meet again....

#catchandreleaseandcatchagain

#doubledate

#secretadmirer

#keepemwet

My parents go to church every week. They go either on Wednesdays or Sundays. They enjoy seeing their friends and reconnecting with the church community, themselves and each other. They usually go out to breakfast or dinner afterwards- depending on which day they go. It is their tradition and they find comfort and purpose in it.

I too have a church. I go on Wednesdays and Sundays. I go fishing.

While my parents are absorbing the messages from the gospel according to an apostle and the sermon from the pastor, I am holding rapt attention to the fish and the river and the plants and animals. 

There are lessons to be learned on the river just as there are lessons to be learned in church. There is solace, comfort and revival in both places. There is appreciation and respect too. 

I would never suggest to anyone that the place they find these treasures is wrong just because it doesn't match my place of church. I believe everyone has to find their own way and will look to what suits them for guidance and support. As a matter of fact, I am really cool with not everyone seeking these things on the river- I hate it when my church gets too crowded!

#roomonthepew

#Godiseverwhere

#IthinkHewouldapprove

#fisheroffish

Today I went fishing and there was not another person to be seen. The fishing was good. Not a word was spoken for 4 hours.

While this may not seem surprising since I was alone, I have to confess that sometimes I talk to myself or the fish when I am fishing. My friend joked with me that I ask for "expert advice" when I talk to myself. I responded that it was more like the blind leading the blind.

However, I digress- back to my day. So it took me a little bit to realize that I was existing in silence. Wait. That isn't correct. It wasn't silent. There was the sound of the water moving. There were birds and the rustle of a deer bounding away. There was the sound of my footsteps. I actually heard lizards running across the rocks. There was a collection of sounds to be heard- just not that of a human voice and that was just fine with me.

Fishing for me helps me clear my mind and work through things. It also helps me unplug and disconnect. Weights and stressors are lifted off of my shoulders as I focus on the task at hand and nothing else. Feeling the pull of a fish on the line narrows my focus even more. Taking extra time when working out my rig while sitting in the sun on a rock is a simple and beloved pleasure. 

One more cast....

One more fish....

One more breath to drink it all in...

Just stand still one more minute and know all that this moment has to offer...

#drinkitin

#savor

#solucky

Who's there you ask? Let me tell you....

So I go to my super secret fishing spot today. I know that people who fish know where my spot is. However, I often have it to myself on any given day. I have become so accustomed to not seeing another person that when I hear a sound, I always assume it is an animal other than a human being. Well today it was a human being. And one heck of a human being in the fly fishing world at that.

My fishing started off kind of slowly. I didn't even get a bump until the third hole I fished. That is pretty unusual for me at my special spot. I was just starting to wonder what to try when I heard a loud crashing across the river. I initially thought it was a deer but was surprised when a man, fully outfitted in fly regalla stepped through the bushes and into the water. He didn't see me at first and started to fish. After a few casts, he looked up and noticed I was across from him on the river. We exchanged pleasantries and information about our days. I caught a few fish and then moved downstream. I set up at a nice hole and the fish just started coming. Just as I was landing fish after fish, my co-fisherman set up across from me. We ended up talking and fishing for quite a while. I learned a few things about my fellow fisherman.

He was Executive Director of Cal-Trout for many years and currently works with the Nature Conservancy. He doesn't live locally but my secret spot is his longtime (20 year) favorite spot to fish. What are the odds that I would meet this person at this remote spot on this day?

It comforted me to know that someone so well connected in the fly fishing and conservation world loves this spot as much as I do. It gives me hope- hope that it is on his radar as a place to protect. It also gives me hope that he was there alone- not bringing a group of people to this precious, small and fragile waterway. He clearly understands that it is pristine and worthy of protecting on an individual and also on a larger scale. That, and the great fishing today, puts a smile on my face...

#beniceontheriver

#youneverknowwhoyouarefishingwith

#flyfishermenarethenicest

I went fishing with one of my fly fishing heroes the other day. I have known this person for almost a year and have always secretly wanted to fish with him but the mere idea was super intimidating. This guy has fished everywhere for everything. He is a master caster. Fishing with him is a privilege and I didn't know if it was a privilege that I would get to experience.

Well- I did. It was funny that he had already fished everywhere I fish so I had nothing new to show him. We met and fished for about 6 hours. About 3 hours into it, he paid me the highest complement that I could ever hope for- He told me that I fish "hard". He said I fish harder than most of the guys he fishes with. We literally fished 6 straight hours including some hard hiking and rock hopping. We were drenched in sweat until the river cooled us down. We finally called it when we were both so tired that we kept breaking of our rigs off over and over. Sometimes the river tells you when to call it. It was then that we mutually decided that it was time for dinner and a glass of wine. Over dinner we talked about the fishing and the lessons of the day. I was super excited when he talked about us going fishing again. We talked about trips and destinations. We talked about gear and casting and tying and all things fly fishing. What an amazing day!

#fishithard

#makethemostofthetimeonthewater

#fishingbuddies

When I started fly fishing I thought I had to be a good caster before I could go fishing. The only problem is I didn't know how to become a good caster. As a result, I waited around to go fishing until I felt I was ready. I thought my skills weren't good enough. Boy did I miss out! Since then I have found that time on the water is the best teacher and a great way to develop fishing skills.

I felt the same about hiring guides. I felt that I needed to know how to fish to go with a guide. Once I started hiring guides, I quickly discovered that they are the best teachers and most love taking newbies out and teaching them skills. I think it would have helped me avoid developing some bad habits too... 

Now I am addicted to hiring guides. Some of my most epic fishing experiences have been under the guidance of phenomenal fisherman who have dedicated their services to sharing the art of fly fishing.

In retrospect, it didn't matter that much how skilled I was in casting. Learning a good mend technique was more productive. Learning to read water to put me in the right spot. Fishing the classic flies trumped detailed entomology knowledge.

Now however, I think I am at the point in my fly fishing where I am starting to take myself seriously as a fly fisher. As a result, you can find me at the park practicing my casting. You can catch me at the coffee shop reviewing entomology resources. You can see me waiting for Rocky at karate while reading the latest copy of a fly fishing magazine. At night, if you call me before bed, I am most likely tying a fly to relax before I turn in. I am addicted. I have drank the kool aid. I am now actively practicing skill development. 

#grownupfisherman

#takingmyselfseriously

#mypassionmysanity

I went fishing tonight with a super skilled angler. I tried to not feel intimidated and just focused on the moment and the process. I had a great time. I landed lots of fish. Literally from the second cast there were fish on my line. It was an amazing day. The river was beautiful. The trees dropped little fur balls making it look like snow. There were no other people anywhere on the river. It was like the day had been special ordered just for us.

After we fished to our hearts' content, we went and ate some dinner. While talking at dinner, I asked if he knew how many fish he had landed and he said he didn't know. He asked me the same question and I had the same answer- I had no idea. All I knew was that my hands smelled of fish and my heart was happy. 

I remember when I first started fishing, I would go days without catching anything. Each fish was a fish of a thousand casts. I would judge the quality of the day by how many fish I caught.

I feel like I have reached a different level in my fishing. I do catch fish pretty regularly but the funny thing is- that doesn't seem to matter anymore. The mere act of being on the water brings me such joy that I don't even bother to count anymore...

#givesmemorethanIcanmeasure

#fromzerotosomething

#goodtimes

Fly fishing has a reputation as a snobbish endeavor. I have to admit that it was a bit intimidating when I first thought about learning to fly fish. It looks elegant and thoughtful- two things I am not known for. The people that do look so self assured. They catch fish. 

However, the reality of fly fishing has been a completely different story for me. I have met the most wonderful people fly fishing. Our club is filled with wonderfully colorful characters who are kind and generous. I want to fish with them all. I want to hear their stories and fish tales. I want to learn what adventures are out there. I want to see their casting and approach. I want to become the living legacy of their fly fishing journey. 

I had the good fortune to fish with a founding member of DFF last night. Leo has always been amazingly generous with his time and efforts with so many of our members- new and veteran. He gives away equipment. He gives lessons. He shares flies. He is awesome. We have been talking about going fishing. We have been hampered by high flows. Our plans to fish the Truckee are on hold until flows settle so we decided to hit the shad on the American. Leo made arrangements and we drove to meet our guide. The stories that Leo shared on the drive were amazing. He has fished more than I could in the remaining years of my life. He has fished in amazing places for amazing fish with wonderful people. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, we started fishing. Leo is an amazing angler. His cast is glorious and smooth. He fought some big shad. It was a blast. 

I am so grateful to have heard the story of how DFF was started. I am so grateful to be a part of this tradition and hope to pay forward all of the kindness that has been shown to me one day. 

Let the legacy live on through me too...

#deltaflyfishers

#livinglegend

#heunderstandswhatitisreallyabout

#forevergrateful

The club has a traditional outing that supports a great cause. It is a planted stillwater experience. I readily admit that stillwater fishing is not my favorite. I also readily admit that planted stillwater ranks pretty low on my list of places I want to fish. However, the event raises money for a scholarship, is a mutual activity with Calaveras Fly Fishers and is an opportunity to spend time with many people from the club that I don't normally get to spend time with. Plus, there is a tri tip lunch that is the bomb. So I try to go every year. 

I have made it three years. I have seen club members catch dozens of fish. Heck, I have seen three-year-olds catch fish. I have seen members catch their first fish on the fly. I have never caught a fish there. Hence, my serving of humble pie....

Yesterday we set out and I was full of hope that my streak would end with at least one fish. I was wrong. As fisherman after fisherman passed me by, often catching a fish right in front of me, they would give me advice. Strip a little faster. There are tons of fish- just catch one, Let it sink a little deeper. Don't worry, you will enjoy the lunch. Yet my line remained relaxed. The day sort of drug on until time was called. I remained fishless. I had a nice slice of humble pie with lunch.

Now when fishing hands you humble pie, there are a few choices to be made. You can concentrate on other modes of fishing. There are tons. There is the Delta, rivers and streams, creeks as well as still water. You could fish a lifetime and avoid any one or two of these. Or, you can continue doing it and not catch fish and just enjoy all the benefits of fishing like beautiful settings, wonderful people, rod in your hand on the water. Or, you can dive into resources and figure it out until you no longer have to eat a piece of humble pie with lunch.

#whichwouldyouchoose

#fourthtimemaybethecharm

#foragoodcause

I have heard it a million times and have said it a bunch too... "That cast deserves a fish."

It is that moment when your fly goes exactly where and how it is supposed to. No trees are caught. The backcast doesn't catch a bush or hit the ground. Your false cast forward doesn't smack the water. Rather, the line unfolds smoothly. The fly lays down gently right where you were planning for it to land. The drift is dead with the current. It is the moment when it all comes together. All of the practice. All of the youtube videos. All of the books read. All of the lessons. All of the time on the water trying to put it all together. It just comes together and it feels amazing. Then either you or your buddy say, "That deserves a fish." But, no fish hits your fly. The drift continues through until it is over. There is no set. No landing. No release and no congratulatory high five. The river owes you nothing.

#youareherbitch

#fishhitshenyoulookaway

#fishhitwhenyourrodcomesapart

#fishhitwhenyoudropyourphoneinthewater

I was in a hurry to go fishing this morning and couldn't find the rod I wanted to take. I grabbed another rod and once I got on the water I realized that I had grabbed a 6 wt when I meant to grab a 4 wt. I knew it was going to feel like target practice with a bazooka- just a bit of overkill.

But I was at the water and the river closed the next day to fishing for two months. I remembered advice from a fishing friend to just fish it- whatever I had on the water at the moment I was on the water. Lord knows I had forgotten stuff before (a reel once) and that didn't stop me. So I geared up and got on the water. 

The fish were small that day. Not one fish was over 8 inches but there were quite a few of them. Even with their small size, they hit hard and went for runs trying to get lost in the current. My 6 wt barely bent. My line was a 5 wt but casting was fine. I never even thought about the fact my rod was way more than I needed and just moved forward with this fantastic day. 

As the day wrapped up, I made a mental note to mix things up with my gear. I made a promise to not let rods sit in cases going unused- even if they weren't the perfect fit for the day they should get a chance to get out and get wet. They were built to catch fish and I need to make sure they get the chance.

#gearjunkie

#dontjustbuyituseit

#getoutandfish

Today was the last day to fish before the local rivers close for spawning. It is a day that I knew I had to fish- dirty house? Nope- not going to keep me from going. Assignment due? Nope, not that either. Truck needs to be washed, backyard needs attention, garage is a mess..... nope- I am going fishing and boy am I glad I did. 

I drove, singing as loud as I could the entire way. I pulled up to my secret fishing spot and found a car there.... Ugggggg. I decided to chance that they were going one direction and I could go another so I parked next to them and geared up. My transformation was complete when I stepped into the water- pure bliss. 

My second cast I felt that tug on the line and was reminded why I am a streamer junkie. Nothing like that pull and a pull back to set the hook. That fish was followed by a few more. 

I moved around the river, exploring how it had changed over the winter high flows and checking to see where the fish were holding in the higher and muddy water. I was glad to find some of them.

My day ended when I got hungry and when my hands smelled of fish. It was a beautiful day filled with birds, deer, turkey calls, hummingbirds, bugs and trout. So glad I went out there and got some fishing in. Now the river will close so the trout can spawn in peace- go get some little fish!

#scalesofthespawn

#riveralltomyself

#calmascanbe

I took a highwater strategies class on the Truckee this weekend. I have been a bit worried about fishing this spring. We have had phenomenal rains and snows. Rivers are running high. How in the world am I going to fish safely?  So when I saw one of my favorite guides was putting on a high water clinic I jumped on the opportunity to attend. The clinic happened to be on one of my favorite yet most intimidating rivers- the Truckee. 

I love the Truckee but it scares me to the core. It is big water for me. I feel intimidated by it. I have never fished it without a guide. I have definitely never fished it wading under high flows. 

My veteran fishing friends always advise the stay away from the water with high flows. They suggest staying clear of the water- clean your gear and tie some flies they say. They may not realize that I am a fishing junkie. I am used to fishing twice a week. I crave fishing when I go for more than a week. I actually get irritable without fishing. 

So what will I do? I had a great clinic on big water that showed me skills, approaches and some experience fishing high waters. I understand risk/benefit of fishing. My chosen activity involves water and people can die in water. It is no joke. Whatever I decide, I will proceed within the high waters with caution.

#highriskhighreward

#youcanfishanyflow

#doyouwantto? 

The club went on an outing to Pyramid Lake this last weekend. Twelve members joined in the fun- 8 men and 4 women. This was not just an overnight outing but 2 nights and three days of fishing and hanging out at a mystical place that has big and often elusive fish.

The weekend began with everyone arriving and touching base. Many of us ended up on the same beach. A few fish were caught and lots of jokes, stories and comradery was present on the beach. The scenery was striking but most participants were focused on their indicator.

The evening wrapped up with a few drinks at Crosby's and a great family style dinner made by our fishmeisters. Family style is a great description of the meal. The banter felt like family- jokes and teasing combined with heartfelt inquiries about life were plentiful. 

Saturday brought amazing bonding as fishing often does. There were rescues and nettings. There were pictures and congratulations on catches. It was super cool. 

While fishing wasn't on fire, fish were caught. People caught fish for the first time at Pyramid. Some did not. I think we all had a great time. We definitely caught the best catch possible- time laughing and enjoying each other!

#women4men3

#only4womenweretheretoo

#trytocatchupboys!

#awesomefishmeisters

I have a job that I would classify as a career. To be honest, I love my work. I am passionate about it. It can be intense and challenging and I like that about it. I have continually invested in my "workself" by going back to school and furthering my skills. 

Why would I share this? Because the funniest thought crossed my mind today. You see, I bought a new reel to go with a fly line that I won at DFF's annual dinner. I was measuring backing and putting it all together and the thought crossed my mind how one day it would be really awesome to work in a fly shop. After 24 years of pursuing my career, my heart would be completely content talking fishing and spooling reels for others. 

Three years ago, I wouldn't have dared to try to put my own backing and line on a new reel. Today I did it for probably the fourth or fifth time. Sure, I had to watch the videos to remind myself of the knots. And yes, I had to undo it because I didn't lay the line down really smoothly the first time. But I got it on, with firm knots and just the right amount of backing. Feeling pretty good about it to be honest. 

I am sure that my job performance isn't up to the standards of the awesome fly shops that I hang out at- yet. But, I am learning and my passion for all things fly fishing is as strong as my passion for my career.

I can think of nothing better than a life filled with both....

#mybestlife

#followtheheart

#learnapplyenjoy

I ventured out today to fish. It was quite unexpected since the rains have been intense and river flows have been high. I found myself in my home waters- although they were changed from the recent flows. Normal fishing flows are under 100 on this river. Today they were in the 300's. They have been in the 1000's. As a result, lots of debris was cleared and brush removed. There were also new snags in the river as I discovered. I tried to find some slower water to fish. Most of the river was moving quickly with a brown dirty water flowing past me. I bet I could have wet waded today. The air temperature was in the 70's. I even ended up with a touch of sunburn on my chest and arms. 

I fished and my indicator moved a few times. It was unclear if the movement was fish related or just the bottom of the river. I definitely didn't feel the tug of a fish when it happened although I chose to be encouraged by the movement. 

I finally found some slower water and promptly caught a snag that took my flies. I tied on a simpler rig knowing I had to leave soon. I put in in some slots that I knew had been there before. Several casts in I felt the tug of a fish- pure heaven! I had not expected to catch a fish in the murky and fast moving river. I was grateful to be wrong. The fish was not the clean spotless fish I usually caught here. He looked a bit battered up- probably from the high flows. I quickly returned him with a thank you for making my day special with his unexpected presence.

#unexpectedvisitor

#firsttimeonmyhomewatersinweeks

#fitlikeanoldglove

When I went out with a guide this weekend, I asked if I could use his rod instead of mine. My motivation was purely selfish. Good guides are usually sponsored by great companies and my guide was no exception. He was sponsored by Orvis and I got to fish the Helios all day long. 

I get that a rod is only as good as the fisherman using it. Putting that rod in my hand was a little like putting grandma in a bikini- you can do it but it may not be a good idea!

Either way I loved fishing with that rod. It cast well. It was great for fighting big fish and I had a blast. We talked at length about where it was best to put you money as an angler. Is it best to drop a mortgage payment on a rod and use that rod for the rest of your life? Or is it better to drop a mortgage payment on a series of fishing experiences with an awesome guide and just use his Helios while you are out there?

#guiderodsareanaddedbonus

#wishIhadstartedhiringguidesearlier

#knowledgeandexperiencetrumpsarod

#Istilllikeditthough

I love guided trips on new waters. First off, new waters can be tough for me. I am still developing my fly fishing skills. I can get one of the million factors right but struggle with getting enough right to catch fish. For example, I may be able to figure out the best fly selection but then fish it at the wrong depth. Or fish the right stuff but in the wrong area. Or pick the correct pattern but fish the wrong color. I may get enough right to catch a fish but usually in new waters I am humbled beyond belief.

So I have been hiring guides. I love fishing with guides. The guides I have met are insanely talented fisherman. They are passionate about fish, waterways and good fishing practices. They tend to be highly intelligent, patient and funny. They are some of my favorite people. 

This weekend was no exception. I went fishing with John from Wild Waters. Meeting John, I was struck by his bright eyes and kind smile. John proved to be an amazing guide and really good company. We talked about the different reasons people hire him to go fishing. He shared that he doesn't consider himself a fishing guide but rather an "experience facilitator"-Someone who connects people to their environment and helps them experience a moment in time at a specific place. It is rarely about catching fish but rather being aware of your self within this time and space. Amazing.... I couldn't have described our experience any better. We caught fish. We shared laughs. We learned about the place and people and ourselves. It was a glorious day and one I hope to repeat soon!

#excellentfacilitator

#somuchmorethanfishing

#wishIcoulddothisevenmore! 

I am so excited right now...I have been waking up every hour and finally just got out of bed before the sun. I have a 3 hour drive and then another 2 1/2 hour drive tomorrow. Then I will be fishing the Klamath River for the first time ever. 

I cannot believe that this is happening. I made a commitment to myself to cross things off of my bucket list- no waiting for retirement or a special occasion. No waiting for someone or something to tell me that the time is now. Just make a phone call, figure out a date that works and then figure out how to pay for it and make it happen. If things work out, maybe some good company will join me...

There is no time like the present and all of that-

Sometimes though, it is the anticipation that feeds my angst for fishing. I often worry that one day, the reality of it will be a bit of a let down. It is like the difference between an Instagram life and your real life. One looks perfect and the other is perfectly imperfect. So far, I haven't been disappointed- even when the fishing is off.  Each time on the river has been so much more than I anticipated. 

Here's hoping that this trip is the same!

#openopenopen

#herefishyfishy

#hittheroadalready

#kickthatbucketlist

The weather has been wet. Really wet. I have actually had time to fish but all of the local rivers are flowing really high. The Calaveras is flowing at over 4000 cfs. The Mok is heading towards 3000 cfs. The Stan is flowing at 1500. Wow!!!! The rain and snow have been dumping. 

While this is good news for summer water supply, I am jonesing for some fishing time. I really want some time on the water, the smell of fish on my hands after that glorious tug of a fish on my rod. I am tying as much as I can. I spend time casting at the park. I watch fishing shows. Read fishing books and magazines and try to get by without being on the water. It is a tough go but I know that soon I will be in my favorite waters where I feel at home and relaxed.

Until then, I am making plans for guided trips, cleaning my gear, organizing my fly boxes and dreaming of friendlier flows.

#waternowmeanswaterlater

#thissummerwillbeepic

#absencemakestheheartgrowfonder

#addicted

I know plenty of fly fisherman that only fly fish. They are purists. They can be a bit judgemental of bait fisherman and gear slingers. I spent my childhood sitting with my family in a small aluminum boat holding a rod with bait hanging off of it. It was a beautiful childhood. 

I love fly fishing. I love fly tying. I love it all. However, when I am out and about on the water, I strike up conversations with anyone- regardless of how they are fishing. I admire the hunter-provider that I see in a skilled angler regardless of fishing mode. 

I have found that there are incredibly nice and connected fly fisherman. There are also real jerks who fly fish. The same can be said for a variety of fishing methods in all of the places I fish. So this begs the questions, is there a wrong way to fish? 

For me, being connected to place and nature is how I like to fish. Doing as little harm as possible and being respectful of the health and the regulations of a waterway are key. This includes packing out garbage sometimes. Sometimes it is talking about regulations. Sometimes it involves alerting fish and game to violators. 

Ultimately, the right way to fish involves being decent to others on the river- regardless of how they are fishing or what they are doing on the river. Moving over for rafters. Making room for another fisherman. A kind word shared. Sharing what is working. Helping someone down a path. It is all the right way to fish in my book.

#itdoesn'thurttobenice

#courtesyispriceless

#publicwaters

#makingfriendsonthewater

I went to one of my favorite places to fish today. It was crowded. I actually got sushed away by a couple of fisherman. They did nothing wrong. I only saw one person fishing a hole that can easily fish 3 people. They let me know there were two of them and no more room. I moved down to where fish don't hold and practiced my casting. This spot put me between two of my favorite holes. Each hole had a fisherman. No one was catching fish. They were all fishing rigs that were short and light for the water. How do I know this? I have done the same thing until someone helped me out. 

I was dying to help them. I wanted to point out where they should stand, where they should cast and what changes to make to their rigs. It was torture. They all seemed content in their efforts so I let it ride. When one man cleared out, I slid into his spot and caught a few fish. I left when time ran out. 

I later found out that I knew one of the fisherman that had sushed me away. We laughed when I told him that that was me. He said that if he had known, he would have appreciated the help.

#goodtoknow

#wadersmakepeopleunrecognizable

#ohtheirony

#nexttime!

The flows increased on the Mok and I forgot my wading staff at home. I had planned on taking the 2 and 1/2 hours I had to fish to explore new fishing spaces. I had seen friends and strangers land big fish in places I have never fished on my little home water. It is surprising sometimes how we can never fully know a river....

But they increased the flows to 400 and I was fishing by myself. I can wade at this flow but I fall. While I wear a PFD, it seemed like a bit of an unnecessary risk since there are places were you can easily fish with minimal wading. So I decided to adjust and go with the flow. 

I decided to explore the Salmon Run section. I have fished here but mostly dry flies at dusk in the summer. It is amazing. Wet wading and seeing the fish start to rise. Throwing flies until you can't see any more. There is no better way to spend a summer evening.

Only it wasn't summer- or warm and no fish were rising. 

I have been on a streamer kick lately. Not really wanting to indicator fish. While I know indicator fishing is effective. I like to look around while I fish and not stare at a floating indicator. I like the tug of a fish hitting. But, I need to get better at indicator fishing and this seemed to be the day for it. 

I took my time, fishing the edges. Not much happening. I systematically explore the riffle. I got a few bumps but missed them. Not a lot of fish action. I added Scott's Little Black Bug to my rig and immediately hooked a fish just a few feet from where I stood. That was the ticket! I then hooked a sizeable trout just where I had stood a few minutes earlier. 

I knew there were fish there... I just wasn't offering the right fly. A year ago, I would have left empty handed. It mazes me that I am developing the skills to adjust on the river. Nothing better than figuring it out and catching fish. 

#feelslikeprogress

#lovethatsmellonmyhands

#getalittleuncomfortabletolearn

#Istillfell

#bestmentorsever

#finallyfiguringitout

There is nothing like standing in a river to help work through things on your mind. These things are things that will wear on your spirit if left unattended. They can make you cold or bitter. They can poison your relationship with others if not dealt with. We all have them- people we have lost in our lives, love gone wrong, heartbreak, rejection, loss or failure. Unattended broken trust can make a person treat someone trustworthy like a thief. A broken heart can make one treat someone that loves us like disposable garbage. We bury these feeling deeply because they are painful. We sometimes take them out little by little and work through them. Sometimes we leave them buried and untouched... poisoning our lives like bad groundwater. 

Being outside and fishing helps me deal with these buried dangers. When I am on the water, I am focused enough to fish but relaxed enough to let my mind wander. It can wander just enough to take pieces of my hurt out to examine it. I turn it over in my mind. I look at my choices. I consider what happened and what I could have done differently or what I did that I wouldn't change. Little by little, the pains buried in my heart come out and I roll them around my mind. The hurt or pain or disappointment begins to leave my heart. I don't forget, but I begin to understand the other person's perspective as well as my own role in the events. Fishing distracts me enough that I don't get pulled into a circle of sadness. I tangle or break off enough to think about other things. It is good therapy.

Some of my most healing moments have come on the water. That is where I breath most deeply. That is where I see myself most clearly. That is where I come to terms with my angst. 

#fisharegoodtherapists

#scalesofsanity

#makesmehealthierinsomanyways

#forgivingmyselfaswellasothers

I spent the second day of 2019 fishing one of my favorite places. I remember the first time I was introduced to this spot. The learning curve was steep and I have shed tears there... tears of frustration as well as tears of joy. One of my favorite people in the world introduced me to this place and taught me to fish it. I am forever grateful.

Today it produced like it does- beautiful fish from 8 to 16 inches. I missed more than I landed but walked away with solid double digit fish to hand. I landed two steelhead. I was feeling really good. Then these two teenagers walked up to me as I was fishing.

These guys were decked out in Simms waders, Patagonia hip bags, Orvis and St. Croix rods with sweet reels I can't imagine affording in this lifetime. They walked up on me landing a sweet fish. I asked them if they wanted this spot. I had landed enough fish and could easily move on with a full heart. It was at this moment that they told me this was there first time fly fishing.....

I asked if they would let me look at their rig. They said "Yes Please!" 

I looked at their rigs and they had about 3 feet of tippet tied right to their fly lines. They were using some yarn as an indicator but it was soaked and sinking. They had curious nymphs on the ends. They shared with me that they hadn't caught anything yet....

I offered to help them set up rigs and show them how I was shown to fish. We did just that. I gave them indicators and leaders. We added weight and flies. I showed them how to cast and mend. We got a bump and I showed them how to set. I felt strange showing someone how to fish. I am still a novice in so many ways..... I know there are better teachers out there. I just happened to be in that spot at that time. I did my best. 

As I left the boys fishing, I felt full of joy and gratitude. Gratitude for having been the recipient of the knowledge that led me to fishing this place. Joy for being able to pay it forward to these young men. I walked away hoping that the boys would catch enough fish to get them hooked.

#itslikeheroin

#creatingaddictsonebumpatatime

#fancygeardoesntcatchfish

#kindnessandknowledgedoes

#sograteful

Two years ago today I almost died. I collapsed and was rushed to the hospital. The doctor told me that I had hundreds of blood clots in my lungs. I was to not move for the next few days. She asked if I had my affairs in order and how I felt about organ donation. Then they rolled me into a stark hospital room. They forgot to hand me the remote or the button to call the nurse. I was afraid to move since the doctor had said I wasn't supposed to move, sit up or roll over until the doctor said I could. They gave me some medicine to prevent my body from forming new clots and told me to wait until  my body broke down the clots I already had. The danger, as it was explained to me, was as my body dissolved the clots, one could break free and stop my heart or the blood flow in my brain. I laid in that bed, literally watching the moments tick by on the clock until morning. That was an amazing day for me. 

I call today my "clotiversary" and have celebrated it in a rather contemplative way each year. I usually spend some time fishing and then hang out with my son. Fishing allows me to stand in a river and feel the power of nature- I don't think I feel much more alive than standing in the river. I am not sure why. But all I know is that there is nothing like it for me.

I spend the evening with my son. He is my heart and I am so grateful that I have had the time since that day to watch him grow and experience life.

To celebrate today, I went with a friend to a new spot to fish. We walked down to the river and there laying across the river was a giant oak tree. Even though this winter hasn't been particularly intense in rainfall, a giant tree had fallen. I am not sure how old the tree was but it wasn't young. Yet it had fallen and now blocked the entire river. It seemed almost too symbolic on this day for me. It was a reminder that when it is your time it is your time- no matter how long you have stood or how big you feel you are. That is what I love about fishing. Nature always holds the answer to the thoughts running around in my head. I am always grateful that I can spend time in nature to help me work through these thoughts.

I am also grateful that it wasn't my time two years ago.  While I am not sure how many more clotiversaries I will get, I hope that I will always celebrate it with gratitude- connecting to nature and spending time with those I love...

#clotiversary

#twoyearsofgratitude

#naturegivesperspective

New Years is next week. I cannot wait. I feel like my fishing has been stunted. The only open waterway has flows that are barely a trickle. I am not much of a lake or pond fisherman. I would much rather be wading in freezing water than floating on a boat. I have still managed to get out twice a week but these outings have left me jonesing for my old haunts. New Years cannot come fast enough.

It is hard to think of what I did for fun before I started fishing. Fishing has become such a staple in my life. I hate to think of what I would do without it. In fact, my New Year's resolution is to fish even more. I have set up more guided trips in these first few months of 2019 than I took all of last year. There is no time like the present to do what you love. 

I am nervous and excited for the coming year. I am nervous to see if my fishing goes well or struggles. I am excited to have my hands smell like fish and spend time with those I care about doing what we love. 

So here is to 2019... may your loops be tight, your line be straight, your drift be true and may you find lots of time on the water this coming year!

#openopenopen

#cantwait

#mindthoseredds

So we recently sent out a survey to club members. The survey included what do you do with fly fishing and what do you want from the club. The responses were both surprising and affirming. The club membership overall likes what the club is doing. The things they want, we can do. This includes outings, information, skill development and local conservation efforts. One of the things people wanted was casting instruction.

We were able to set up some lessons with a master caster in San Ramon. Gary is an amazing instructor and a heck of a nice guy. He is meticulous, knowledgeable and kind- typical fly fisherman! When I sent out the email advertising classes with Gary, I fully anticipated that the people interested would be our new members. Little did I know, many of our veterans would be the first to sign up for these classes. 

Not only did they sign up, they loved the classes. It just goes to show, fly fishing is a deeply complex collection of skills, opportunities and experiences. One is never finished learning how to fly fish and one has never fished too long to improve- especially when it comes to fundamental skills.

I think this is a nice life lesson. Being humble enough to accept instruction can be the difference between fishing and catching fish on the water. It can be just as important off of the water. It can make a difference with your children, your friends, your partner and your work. Maintaining an openness to improve in anything you do encourages personal growth. I feel like growth keeps me alive and connected- and not just with fishing.

So, I count the casting connection we have made as a success. I am looking forward to making and maintaining connections in the club to meet the needs of our membership. The board and officers are committed to this endeavor.

The great thing about the club is that you don't have to wait for a survey. If you want something, just send an email or have a conversation. The leadership is open and eager to support others.

#notjustafishingclub

#agreatgroupofpeople

#carpoolingtoSanRamonwasthebest

#workthefundamentals 

The Lower Sacramento River is one amazing fishery. The bugs are plentiful. The fish are muscular from living in the current. Did I mention that they are huge? Tons of food and healthy waterways means really good fishing. That is exactly what we found when we fished there Saturday- big fish willing to eat. 

We fished the day away. Our guide Scott was an epic host. He put us on fish on this waterway he clearly knew well. He had one surprise that he was holding for us though and it was a good one.

While catching these fish is fun, indicator fishing is the one type of fly fishing I sometimes resent. I feel like I have to be so focused on watching my indicator that I often miss the scenery and sights of the day. Now mind you, I really like how effective fishing under an indicator can be. It is a bit of a trade off. But, when Scott said we were going to hook fish on a dry fly I was excited. Dry fly, topwater takes are amazing. It is my favorite but it is also the fly fishing that I least get to do. Fish don't always rise when I am on the water. Sometimes I throw dries just for fun even when no fish are rising. 

Dusk settled and we waited for the fish to rise. Scott said the window would be brief but it would be worth it. He was right.

The big fish began rising. We began casting. It got darker. We hooked fish after fish. I was purposefully letting them go so I could get another take. We fished until we were setting to splashes because we couldn't see anymore. Scott finally said we had to get in before it got too dark to land. My heart was pounding and my hands were shaking. Those were the biggest fish I have ever caught on dries. I had never fished in the dark. It was amazing doing some night dry fly fishing!

#splashthenset

#theypoundedthatfly

#Scottisawesome

Dena and I spent the day split between driving and a wonderful fly fishing seminar in Redding. We left in the dark and returned in the dark. It was a really good day.

We had heard about this seminar put on by The Fly Shop. It was a women's only seminar geared towards supporting women in fly fishing. We were struck by the number and diversity of women. There were over 50 women there. We counted at least 20 instructors- all women. Clothing was there for women. Gear designed for women. I met my first real live female guides. I took my first and second and third class led by a woman. It was wonderful and unsettling. It was wonderful to be surrounded by women who shared the same passion for fly fishing. It was wonderful to have women provide instruction and mentorship. It was wonderful to exchange numbers and contact information with potential fishing buddies.

It was unsettling to realize how little we have access to other women fly fishers locally. We met groups of women who fish together regularly. We met women who knew the other female guides from fishing with them. I felt a little disconnected from this female society of fisherman. 

It was good to connect and spend time. It was nice to laugh and have fun in a group of women. It was wonderful to learn from each other. 

On the way home we ran into highway closures and detours. It took about 5 hours to complete the 3 hour drive. It just proved to remind me that the journey you embark on is not always the path you end up taking. While we have taken some time to find connections with this group of female fisherman, we made it to our destination. Grateful for all of the work put into organizing this event. I am hoping they do it again and we can take even more women fisherman from DFF. Let's carve a path and support each other in pursuit of this amazing art.

#5050onthewater

#castingclasswaslifechanging

#theycalledmeanintermediatefisherman

#notabeginneranymore!

I went fishing today and all I could think about was all of the things I have to do at home. I was catching but not enjoying. Any roadblock or hiccup was an excuse to call the day, pack it up and head for home. At a certain point I wondered if going fishing was a mistake... I know- crazy talk!

Finally I decided to stop worrying. When I get home I will get done what I get done and it will have to be good enough. That is that. 

It would have been a waste of time only if I squandered away the morning that I could spend recharging my soul, connecting with nature and relaxing. It bothers me that I have to force myself to relax. In a life so busy, I need to take these moments of connection as a gift not a waste. Luckily I was surrounded by wonderful people, beautiful waterways and fish. 

#thatisallIneedtochill

#gottarechargeoroperateonempty

#topwateraction

#topwatertakesarethecocaineoffishing

#Deltamagic

In traditional Wednesday fashion, I headed out for a little fishing R&R. A few hours is turning out to be just what the doctor ordered for my mental health. How did I ever function before fishing?

I snuck out to the Mok for a quiet time. Essentially had the body of the river to myself while some bank fisherman tried their hand from the side of the river. The day started slowly. A few bumps but not much else. I was wet wading and it was overcast so I felt the coldness of the water quickly. I was also hungry and toyed with the idea of packing it in for the day and heading to the membership meeting early. Just when I started playing the "One last cast" game with myself, I hooked a fish. Another came after. Both were small but a fish is a fish is a fish. I rededicated myself to the outing and kept putting it out there. I cast my small streamer across the river at an angle and let it swing. All of a sudden I felt a sizeable bump and saw a large fish flash across the waterway. Did that fish just take my fly??? The pull on the line told me yes- yes he did. This was a big fish. This was the biggest fish I had ever hooked on this waterway. I got it to the net after a bit and unhooked it. No adipose fin meant it was a hatchery fish but its size was a full 18 inches and that made it a steelhead. The fisherman from the bank yelled for me to hold it up. Then they yelled for me to give it to them. I laughed as I released it back into the river. A few more sizeable fish later and I finally called it. What a wonderful day. So glad I was able to come out and blow off some steam. So glad I didn't listen to myself when I thought I should leave. So glad I repeated, "Just one more cast" another 30 times!

#itisneverjustonemorecast

#secondsteelheadofmylife

#firststeelheadonthisriver

#theMokisfishingwell

#mysanity

Have you ever stood in the middle of the river and had a conversation with a fish? Has that fish ever done something so funny that you laughed out loud? 

This happened with me today. I was standing in a river fishing and life was feeling pretty damn good. Fishing was good. The weather was perfect.  The river was gorgeous. I was perched on a rock thinking life couldn't get any better when my phone beeped. I always feel compelled to check and see if it is my son. As a single mom I have to be available to him- no one else but always to him. It was not my son. As I was checking the message, I felt a firm pull on my line. It never fails. If you want to catch a fish all you have to do is hold a phone outside of its waterproof case over the river, or have your rod come apart, or fall on your bum. The fish are sure to hit your fly when any of those things happen and this day was no exception. The tug was firm. This was a sizeable fish. I struggled to maintain a tight line while getting my phone put away. I managed both and landed the fish of the day. He was a beautiful 18 inches and thick and healthy. He remained calm while I removed the hook. He swam away slowly and strongly. I held my breath as he departed and breathed once again when his image melted into the bottom of the riverbed. Just then, a little fish leapt clear out of the water not two feet in front of me in pursuit of a bug. His tail flipped and if I was one to anthropomorphize, I would say that he looked joyful. I laughed out loud as he plopped back into the water and told him to just keep eating and he would one day be as big as the amazing catch that just left my hand and settled in at the bottom of the river. I too looked joyful... and  if I were a trout, I would have leapt out of the water and flipped my tail with joy...

#breathineachmoment

#breathineachday

#nobaddays

#theriverbringsmesuchjoy

#eatlittleoneeat

#onedayyouwillbebigtoo!

So today I went to a fishing spot for the fifth time. I was introduced to this spot by my fishing mentor and have ventured back as often as possible as it is isolated, beautiful and it has hungry fish- all the things I look for in a beloved fishing spot. It is the kind of spot you don’t readily share. It is sacred.

This spot is a large pool on a river. The flow of the river is divided by a pile of rocks and trees into two streams. These merge into a large deep pool and the river continues on the far side of the pool. The setting is such that it is difficult to fish this section from the banks. The depths that hold fish are just out of reach for the bank angler on the trail side and the terrain is very challenging on the far side if you can safely cross over to it. We choose to hike our float tubes down the trail and float between the two streams of water, accessing the entire depths of the pool. We often fish without seeing another person. I have never seen anyone else float this section.

I have always done well at this spot and as a newer angler, this is gold for me. I have never landed fewer than 8 fish in a few hours of fishing. I always have fun here. I always feeling connected to the place. It is beautiful- filled with birds, trees, rocks, insects, water flowing and a million details that change just enough to keep me aware of my surroundings- always alert yet relaxed. My favorite thing to do is to kick myself into the current at the top of the pool and ride my float tube down the current and cast towards the end of the pool. Most times the flow spins me around in my float tube like an amusement park ride and I cast whatever direction I happen to be heading towards at the end. I pop out of the current into the central eddy and it floats me back to the beginning of the ride for another go around. As I head effortlessly upriver, I strip my streamer in fast or slow depending on my mood and often feel that amazing tug of a fish on my line. It is magical and I love it there.

Today my experience reached an entirely different level. Today I was floating and spinning and casting like a kid. It was raining off and on. I had the river to myself except for the birds and bugs and fish that joined me. I was catching bigger fish than usual today. Usually my fish range from 6 to 12 inches. Today I was spending more time floating at the tail-out section of the pool. Fish were jumping around me like popcorn- leaping like dolphins. I kicked myself for not bringing a rod with floating line but kept fishing deep with my sinking line. I landed a 12-inch fish. Then I landed a 13-inch fish. Then a 15-inch and then a 16-inch fish. Could this day get any better? I mean really... could it? I breathed deeply and savored the moment. The smells of the river and the smell of fish filled my lungs. I cast as the rain picked up. A fish jumped to my left, catching my eye just as I felt a firm tug on my line. I set the hook and the fish dove deep. Sensing that this was different than my previous catches, I quickly put the fish on the reel and we played our game- no, we danced our dance. He would take. I would give. I would reel line in and he would follow... to a point. Then he would dive and I would give again. Over and over this happened. He finally came to the surface and I had a glimpse of his size. He was over 20 inches easy. Down he dove. When he resurfaced I saw his hook jaw, thickness and the adipose fin. He was clearly a steelhead but more than that, he was a wild steelhead.

I have massive respect for steelhead. They have carved an evolutionary path that requires amazing survival skills as they move from inland river to the ocean and oftentimes back again. Each environment replete with numerous predators. So many miles travelled. Obstacles overcome. Paths navigated. So much distance and time and then there we were- in the same space at the same time in this pool on this river. Me with my little rod and fly and line and him looking for something to eat. What are the odds of that? How many things had to align in each of our existences to bring us to this very spot at the same time? It felt like so many moons had to align, so many choices could have changed our trajectories, so we never would have crossed paths. But here we were, connected by line and hook. I had so much respect for this fish that I felt badly when he folded into my much too small trout net. I unhooked him and took a quick picture. He exceeded the ruler on my stripping basket but had to be 20 plus inches. As I released him, his thick body began to move side to side. It was easy to feel the strength and power that brought him to this place of our meeting on his long journey and brought me my first wild steelhead on the fly.

#bucketlist

#Ican'tbelievethisactualyhappened

#nowitnesses

#adiposefinmademyheartflutter

#whataretheodss?

I felt like my fly fishing confidence account had been robbed. Someone had snuck into my mind in the middle of the fishing trip and removed every last ounce of confidence I had in my ability to fish. It was humbling. I had to decide how I was going to handle it. Was I going to give up fishing? Was I going to stick to fishing the handful of places I had grown to know and fish successfully? Was I going back to the site of my humbling and try again?

You bet I was going back. I did just that this last Sunday. I thought and strategized the entire drive. I built my rig with what I thought were going to be the flies of the day. I hiked in, sliding down a steep trail to the place I had broken down and cried just a week and a half ago. I cast my rig. I cast my rig again.  I cast my rig again and again. Nothing. Was it going to happen again? It felt like someone was putting nails in my fishing coffin. I cast and cast. Fish rose around me. They were here. I was not offering what they wanted. It was clear they were feeding on emergers so I switch out my flies. A few casts later I landed my first fish. What a relief.

I was actually grateful that my first rig didn't work. It meant so much more that I had to read my situation and adjust. I went on to hook a number of fish and landed most. At one point, I looked up at the sky with a big grin on my face and just took a deep breath. Man, this felt good. My fishing confidence account had been recovered and I moved forward by making a small deposit in it. I was still humbled. But now I was humbled and grateful. Grateful that I came back. Grateful that I tasted success after feeling so incompetent. Grateful that my hands smelled like fish.

#nobettersmell

#Ididntwashthemallday

#thoughtIwasagoner

#nomoretears

#worktheproblem

I tend to overthink things. Problems become bigger in my mind. I have even been known to perceive problems in my mind that may or not even exist. I am working on it- I am a work in progress and all that. I have spent a bit of time going over in my head the last time I went fishing and realized two things- The first is that I have a limited amount of actual fishing skill. The second is that I want to learn more. It amazes me when I fish with someone who is self taught. I have no idea how they did that. With help, I struggle. The thought of approaching the water without any guidance is baffling to me. I wouldn't (and don't) know where to start. It reminds me of a Rubik's cube. Those of a younger age may not be familiar with this intellectual torture device but it was a hot item when I was young. I remember spending hours sitting in my room trying to figure it out. I would get one side. Then I would get two sides. One time I got three sides. It was just too much for my mind to process. There were too many pieces and moving parts. Sometimes fly fishing feels like that too.

There are a lot of moving pieces in fly fishing. Let's start with the rod and the reel. I remember when I felt like a boss finding my first fly rod at a garage sale. It was twenty bucks and I thought I was done buying rods. Little did I know.....

Then there is the line- something I still try to wrap my mind around. Weight forward, shooting head, floating, sinking, intermediate, spey, tightline, all the different companies and all the language. I think lines are an incredibly important piece of the puzzle and they remain a mystery to me in so many aspects. Weights of all of these and endless combinations of these things are a Rubik's cube in and of themselves. Add leaders, tippet and rigs to the mix and then consider all the different ways to fish- indicator, tightline, streamers and then begin reading the water to know how to approach it and where to fish. Then add to the mix the flies themselves and choosing what to fish. Don't forget to figure out the right amount of weight to put on the rig for depth and reading the environment for clues to feeding patterns and insect presence. It is a real-life puzzle as daunting as that colored cube!

I am only now beginning to understand the true complexity of my passion and I am on my third year of exploration. I sometimes wonder if my mind will be able to solve this puzzle? The good news is that instead of sitting in my room staring at colored stickers on a plastic cube, I get to try and figure it out in beautiful places with the sounds, sights and smells of rivers, streams and lakes surrounding me. I think I'll gladly take that challenge!

#IendeduppeelingthestickersoffofmyRubikscube

#Istillhaveitsomewhere

#itlookslikeIsolveditbutIcheated

#nocheatinginflyfishing

#natureiscomplicatedbutbeautiful

#mymindlovesachallenge 

I was just starting to develop a little confidence in my fishing. I was catching fish every time I fished. I had my favorite fly. I no longer felt the need to photograph every fish I caught. I was feeling good.

And then....

I went fishing somewhere new. I couldn't do anything right. I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong. I fished for hours next to my friend who was hammering the trout- one right after the other. I couldn't catch a cold. All of the confidence I had developed faded away and I started thinking that I could go back to my other pre-fishing hobbies. I still had all of my knitting needles. I could get a pair of running shoes. Maybe take up cake decorating? I don't know. All I knew was that I felt incompetent on the water. My eyes started leaking...

I felt soft for crying but it made me incredibly sad to realize that I have few skills outside of the three places I generally fish. I was humbled. My fishing buddy helped me out. Looked at my rig and told me what to do differently (everything!). Told me where to fish. Helped me understand why the rod I brought was working against me instead of for me. I think we were both relieved when I caught a fish. Me because I now understood what I was doing wrong. Him, because I think he really wanted me to stop crying.

He continued to catch fish. I caught a few more. They were enough that I wasn't completely despondent on the way home.

So, will I go back to knitting? Or invest in cake decorating supplies? No. I actually can't wait to get back to this waterway and figure it out. I want to be able to approach this water and fish it without too much help or any more tears. I think everyone who fishes with me wants that too!

#Icriedlikeababy

#itwasthefrustrationboilingoutofme

#feltlikethefirsttimeIfished

#goingtogetbetterandstopcrying

#humbledandgrateful

My son is not an outdoor person. If he had it his way, he would sit glued to a screen every waking moment. It kills me. Sometimes I wonder why I even mow the backyard. The only ones that go out there are the dogs. Trying to get him outdoors is like wrestling a a stubborn mule. He balks and complains the entire way. That is- until the other day....

I took my college roommate fishing. Now, truth be told, my son has a crush on my college roommate. Granted, she is a little old for him... and married but he adores her. Who would blame him? She is beautiful, funny, smart and kind. I like that he has great taste in women. Well, when he found out she was going fishing, all of a sudden he was eager and willing to go with me. I seized the opportunity! We were off!

We had a really fun day. He ate berries, looked for worms and bugs and even fished. Our adventure wrapped up with the three of us precariously perched on a rock, taking turns bringing fish in until hunger and cold turned us towards the truck and a place to eat. 

Over dinner we looked at pictures and talked about the fun. He turned to me and told me to let him know when I go back to that place. He said he would go with me.  

#myheartisfull

#fishingwithmyfavoritepeople

#Icantbelievethisfinallyhappened

#shemayhavetomovebacktoCalifornia!

#thefirstfishhedidntcatchhejusttookapicturewithit

#sillyboy!

So I have not been in the mood to take pictures when I fish. I have really tried to shift to being fully present in the moment. Sometimes I don't even carry my phone with me. I like those days. 

However, when I take someone fishing I like to snap a picture of them if/when they catch a fish. It feels right to document the moment we have spent together. Then afterwards you share the picture and a few texts about the day. It is nice and bonding.

So when my college roommate came to visit me from Ohio this past weekend, I debated on how much time to spend in the moment and how much time to spend taking and posting pictures. This is the modern-day dilemma. 

We went to school together about thirty years ago and have been friends since. While distance makes it challenging to stay close- especially in the olden days before texting and cell phones- we have the kind of friendship that has no requirements for upkeep. We talk like we have been talking everyday  for the thirty years. Time spent in each other's company is as easy and relaxed as those college days when we didn't have kids and a mortgage to worry about. 

So when she came to visit and we had a free day, I offered to take her fishing so she could experience what I am always telling her about in our texts and conversations. First of all, she is tough as nails. The cold didn't phase her. Wading in the river didn't phase her. Apparently eating the berries phased her a little later on.... and boy can she fish! She fished so well in fact, that I didn't realize that this was her first time fishing ever and the first fish we caught was her first fish ever.

Boy was I glad that I had brought my phone and that I took lots of pictures. We laughed and fished and had a blast. She landed 10 fish with the one in the picture being the biggest. When we finally headed home, we shared pictures and a few texts... it was a perfect moment-

#Ijustgaveawaymyage

#shelooksexactlythesame

#thatwomancanfish

#Ipickthebestfriends

#luckylife

#herhusbandisjealousofhercatches

Where to go fishing? That is not a small question. Fishing spots are numerous but good fishing spots can be harder to find. A good fishing spot can be easily destroyed by over-fishing. You tell me about a spot. I tell a friend. They take a friend and so on and pretty soon fishing is terrible and we all sit around saying, "Remember when we used to slay it at....?" 

My understanding of this is growing. I have about 5 places I love to fish. I often go by myself because I am afraid of ruining them by sharing with too many people or people that don't understand the impact of fishing pressure on small waterways. When I take someone to these spots, I am often filled with a combination of dread and guilt.... am I ruining what I love by sharing it? Am I being disrespectful to the person who showed me this spot? Would they rather me fish alone than show someone else this place? I don't know. What I do know is that it is readily apparent when you take the right person to a sacred spot. 

I did just that the other day. I took a friend to a spot that I have never shared with anyone other than the person who took me. I actually felt physically nauseous. I even considered asking her to wear a blindfold.... I know- ridiculous! We got there. We fished. It was amazing. On the way home we stopped to eat. As we chatted and talked about the moments of the day, she looked me square in the eyes and said, "I so appreciate you sharing this place with me- and this day. This is a special place and I understand that." 

The weight was lifted off of my chest. She understood the sacredness of the place and the sharing of it. I had spoken about the person who shared it with me- of this person's fishing knowledge and skill- no- of his genius and how grateful I was to have spent time learning from him here. I didn't have to explain. She understood. We talked of how wonderful it was to land fish in the double digits and to land sizable trout for hours. We both knew this place's sacredness. We both would treat it right.

#youjustknowsometimes

#wouldhavetokillyouifwetoldyou

#itisabalancebetweenprotectingandsharing

#peoplemakefunofmyinstagramtag

#supersecretfishingspot

I have been lucky enough to sneak out and fish a few times a week since returning from our vacation. I have loved being on my local waters again. I have loved spending time with some of my favorite people on my favorite waters. I have caught fish- lots of fish.... lots of little fish and I couldn't be happier.

People are often in pursuit of the giant fish- the real rod bender. The fish that elicits ohs and ahhs when you post the picture of your catch. Now don't get me wrong, the fish on my screen saver is sizable. The photo above my fly tying station is a giant brown caught out of the Truckee. I understand the difference between a tug of a small fish and the pull of a thick and large fish.

So why do these little fish bring me such pleasure? Because they mean that the large fish of the years to come are possible because the spawn this last year was successful. Lots of little fish actively feeding means my favorite waterways are healthy and productive. It is like seeing the future at a playground filled with happy playing children. Catching little fish and releasing them healthy lets me see the future of fishing at my favorite spots- and the future looks good! So the bend in my rod may be slight as the little fish tries to eat my fly- a fly that is almost as big as he is sometimes. But the bend will just get deeper as he feeds and grows. I will see you again little fish- and may you not be so little!

#growlittleone

#somanylittlefishmeansbigfishlater

#fishermenknowwhentherearehealthywaterways

I was so looking forward to a summer filled with fishing. I had images in my mind of hot summer days cooled by the water and fish to hand all summer long. I was going to be traveling to beautiful fish-filled places. I spent time in towns that had a fly fishing shop on every corner and where hotels had carpets with fly fishing designs. I spent evenings sitting next to a lake watching fish rise over and over. For a myriad of reasons, I was able to do very little fishing on these trips. I kid you not... I actually shed some tears over this. 

However, what this summer has been filled with has been time with my son, time in service to others, time spent with family. It has been amazing. I have watched my son's eyes light up a million times from sights and experiences he never imagined. I have watched kids with disabilities explore nature and enjoy camping in a remote Sierra lake. I have split wood, helped remodel a house and have gone to bed so tired I fell asleep the moment I put my head on the sleeping bag. It has been epic.

Fall is nearing. I am eager to spend time on the water. It is time to get a line wet before winter arrives. 

So, as summer comes to an close and the kids go back to school, you can find me on the water! 

#tightlines

#whowantstogofishing?

#youcanfindmestandinginthewaterwavingastick

Rocky and I spent a week at a camp for kids with disabilities. It is set in the woods near Truckee on a small and beautiful lake. This is the first year that the camp has hosted kids at this site but the program has been in action for years. 

Each camper is matched with a counselor- usually some gifted, enthusiastic and intelligent twenty year old that is covered in dirt except for a bright and wide smile. It is magic. 

I watched kids arrive, unsure as they left their parents and joined the camp family for the week. As the week went on, they sang campfire songs louder. They created art pieces of incredible feeling and beauty. They slept under the stars. They swam in the lake, paddled canoes, fished, cooked over the campfire. They made friends. They danced and participated in a talent show.

They were absolutely transformed.

We live lives so removed from nature. Kids with disabilities tend to be the most removed in some strange combination of societal protectiveness combined with accessibility issues. I can tell you that this needs to change for all of us. Nature is incredibly powerful. It can impact an individual's perspective on himself and life. It is a transformative force that every child should take in at some point. 

So, make an effort to take others out. A single experience can have profound impact. Don't hesitate to ask the person who struggles to walk or get around. Problem solve the challenges. Seek the accessible sites. Make it happen. Transform others as you have been transformed by the forces of nature. It is worth it.

#kidsblossomoutside

#adultsdotoo

#ithappendedrightbeforemyeyes

#campwamp2

I have never considered myself a gear junkie. My most used rod is a 29 dollar Eagle Claw. I fish with it endlessly and have probably caught more fish on it than any other rod I own. Now, I have fished with high end rods and, let me tell you- they are nice! They can ruin you like a good boyfriend ruins you for everyone that follows him. 

However, I am hard on my equipment and the thought of using expensive gear causes me some anxiety. Breaking a 29 dollar rod is totally different than breaking a high end Sage rod but fishing them is different too. 

So now that I know I love fly fishing I am investing a little more and more on higher end gear. I replaced my 90 dollar waders with nice ones that really fit. I have been buying nicer rods- not Sage mind you because I live on a teacher's salary but something that costs more than 29 dollars for sure. 

Well, on impulse last week I bought some ultralight wading shoes. Do I need another pair of wading shoes? No. I have 3 pair already. Two were given to me and one pair I bought. Do I love my new boots? Yes- yes I do. Do I regret buying these boots? Not one bit. Did they make my experience on the water better? Yes they did. Would I buy them again if I could go back in time? Yes. Yes I would.

So here I go. On my way to becoming a gear junkie. Will I end up with a Sage rod? Who knows? Will I give away my Eagle Claw to some new comer to slay fish with it like I have? I don't know. But I do know I love my new boots. I also know the joy I felt when someone handed me a piece of equipment that I needed to expand my fly fishing adventures. So maybe I will whittle my boot collection down by handing a pair off to someone who is just getting started. I am not sure if I will ever hand off my Eagle Claw but I might.... eventually.

#itcatchesfish

#thenicestuffjustfeelsbettersometimes

#eitherwayIlovetofish

I know I sound like a broken record but this fly fishing thing is pretty amazing. The people you meet tend to be universally amazing too. 

One amazing fly fishing friend introduced me to another fly fishing woman. She and I and the first woman I met who fly fishes ventured out to some local waters last night. 

There is something about people who fish that makes them ubiquitously fun. You know the instant you get near the water. They see and smell and feel the essence of the place from the moment they arrive. Taking someone to a fishing spot is like inviting them into your home. It is very personal and you want them to feel at home. There is nothing better than having people feel at home in the place you take them.

As the host there is some pressure though. There is a deep need to get them on fish. Helping someone fish is so different from catching fish yourself. There is a balance between showing them what to do and being respectful of their fishing style and preferences. I used to think it was just a matter of handing them your rod and saying "do what I do." but it turns out it is more than that. It is more like facilitating a first conversation between strangers. Pointing out commonalities and characteristics. Seating them near enough to each other so they can really see each other. 

The satisfaction of  having people catch fish in a place you have introduced them to is like seeing your two friends connect after first meeting. 

New and old friends- now good friends!

#homewaters

#flyfishingmakesforgoodfriends

#womenwhoflyfishrock

#weneedtodothismoreoften! 

So I work with the most amazing kids who just happen to live with orthopedic disabilities. I also work with amazing people. One of those people suggested that I share a fishing video and some pics from my fishing fun with our students. The kids were fascinated. We made plans to venture to the local lake and see if we could catch some blue gill for them to experience fishing.

At first, they were split. One student was so excited. He uses a computer to talk and we had programmed some buttons to say fishing related things like "Hot Fish!", "That fish is a whale!" and "That fish is so small he wouldn't even make a single fish stick!". Let's just say we were laughing before we even got to the lake. Our other student, who is rather a diva, was cool and aloof. Relatively uninterested. 

We got to the lake and found a spot with blue gills. A few casts in and we had a little fish to hand. You would have thought that Taylor Swift had made a personal appearance. These kids were excited! Squeals and laughter ensued as they touched the fish and threw it back. "I want to fish!" "I want to catch one!" 

We stayed as long as we could. Each kid caught fish, touched fish, threw them back. As we left the lake, my little diva said proudly, "I am a really good fisherman. We should do this again soon."

#divascanfishtoo

#kidsareablast

#brokemyfavoriterodbutIdontmind

#smilesandpridefordays

As I was fishing today I felt incredibly relaxed- only relaxed wasn't the correct word for it. I felt comfortable, connected, at ease, sublime, collected, harmonious, placid, tranquil. Catching fish was almost inconsequential. What mattered was being in the moment. Smelling the smells- the rich smell of the river, the hearty smell of the foliage, licorice as I step on an anise plant. The sounds- water rolling by, birds singing, the crack of sticks as I step on them making my way into the water. The feelings- the warmth of the sun on my skin as sweat beads down my back but this is instantly replaced with the coolness of the water as I step into the river. My foot slides off of an algae covered rock and my arms plunge into the water to catch myself. Coolness radiates through my body. I walk to the first fishing hole and immediately tangle my line in a tree. I fish a little. Figuring out fly, depth, weight takes time and I donate a few flies to foliage but for some reason these hiccups didn't bother me.  I remained chill and just kept on... 

The day wrapped up five hours and many fish later when the chill had permeated my feet and legs and my stomach grumbled with hunger. I had convinced fish to eat nymphs, streamers and sip dry flies today- the trifecta of fly fishing. I had had the river and some of its occupants all to myself. What a wonderful way to spend a day. 

#nowordscouldreallydescribeit

#itissuchafeeling

#breatheachmomentdeeply

is keeping me waiting. Carly Simon has taken over my mind. Her song has been rolling around in my head the last few days as I wait in anticipation for my favorite local rivers to open up this Saturday. I kid you not, I have so many things to do in my life and my to do list is growing exponentially as I type this- but all I can think about are these rivers. Like an old friend, have they changed while we have been apart? Will my old fishing practices work or will I have to get to know my old friend all over again? 

This is so much better than a class reunion or some other stuffy gathering. This is pure and connected. I can hardly wait to park my truck, put on my waders, grab my rod and take that first step into the water to see my old friend again. Here's hoping I leave our reunion with my hands smelling like fish. As Carly would say, "These are the good old days." 

#distancemakestheheartgrowfonder

#Iactuallyyearnfortimeontheriver

#seeyououtthereSaturday

#youbringthebeer

#Iwillbringthefishstories!

The Delta is the first waterway that I fly fished. President Jerry took me on my first adventure on his boat and the fishing was amazing! I quickly became addicted to the catch numbers and the impressive takes and fighting of the Delta bass. 

I recently transitioned to small man powered vessel fishing on the Delta. I have a small pram and a canoe and I have taken them both on the Delta. These days have not been nearly as fruitful as the trips on Jerry's boat. I struggle with tides, wind, balancing anchors and paddles and getting a little fishing in each trip. Add to the mix my ten year old son who has agreed to venture with me on these trips. While I love his company and willingness to come with me, his presence is not always conducive to getting a line in the water. Most days when he is with me we go "casploring"- our word for exploring. On the Delta there is a ton of wildlife to see. My son loves the silly treasures he finds as he gathers trash and garbage. His favorite finds include a bag of frozen burritos, a shoe and a bag of salad. These have been the only catches of our trips together.

Back to fishing on the Delta... I was just getting ready to give up on this type of fishing when I ventured out early Saturday morning to Westgate Landing. The morning was breezy and I struggled to get a good drift in my canoe. I was all thumbs and left feet. Tangling. Drifting into things. Not spending much time with my line in the water. 

Then it happened. I got the canoe at the right angle and drifted along the rock wall in a perfect angle and rhythm. I was able to cast and strip line in over and over, down the drift. My efforts were rewarded with small mouth bass on a red and black clouser. Maybe this small vessel Delta fishing is doable after all!

#gottagowiththeflownotagainstit

#relaxdontfightit

#surprisewiththesunrise

There is nothing better for my learning curve than to fish with people who really know how to fish. If I pay attention to everything, I can pick up on habits and traits they all have in common. It is rarely the big things although they are universally gifted. They are amazing casters. They know bugs, water, gear and weather. Lately I have been drawn to watching their retrieves as they strip in their line. In my head, I have this idea that I need to mimic the erratic movements of a small baitfish and tend to strip quickly in my efforts to attract a hit from a hungry predator. As I have been watching proficient and talented fisherman (Who are not always men), I have seen the smoothness of their retrieve. They fish with a calmness that permeates their efforts. They move with their environments and never against them. When the club went to Beardsley recently, I shadowed a proficient fisherman who figured out the waterway on this tough fishing day. He was not afraid to try different patterns and sizes with his flies. He was generous with his successes. He shared how he saw and read the waterway. While this helped me get some hits on my fly, I didn't land the number of fish he did. As I watched his approach and his movements, I saw a slow and steady retrieve of his line. My productivity amplified when I mimicked his retrieve. There was something that translated into a more natural presentation by doing it similar to how he was doing it. 

Being a part of this club allows me access to these amazing fisherman. If I can just relax enough to see what they are doing then I can glean from their expertise. So I remind myself to take a deep breath and relax. Look for the details that make the master fishermen so great at what they do and try to build my skills in that direction.

#masterfisherman

#relaxedexpertise

#surroundedbygenius

Love many. Trust few. Always paddle your own canoe...

I recently tried paddling a canoe. I immediately fell for the tranquility and humbleness of the canoe. It is a thin shell setting oneself right in the water. Each paddle stroke pulls you forward as you glide along the river. The canoe is open and one can shift and adjust easily in it. It leans as you lean. It moves silently along at your whim. I have to say that it is another aspect of tranquility on the water that I am eager to merge with fly fishing.

On my first adventure along the river I felt a familiar pull. Often when I am fishing, especially with a favorite rod in a favorite place, I get stuck in the moment and acquire a severe case of "just one more cast." My one hour adventure stretches longer and longer as the moment begs for just one more cast...

My adventure on the canoe was similar. As the canoe glided along the water, each bend shared its secrets. Turtles basking in the sun here. Egrets standing in shallow water there. The call of birds. A red shouldered bird around this bend. A fallen log around that. The canoe almost whispered to me, "Just one more bend in the river.... just one more turn..." 

I am a little worried that when I take my canoe out fishing, I may never stop casting and paddling. Who knows when I will come back in now!

#traditionsaretraditionsforareason

#slowdownandenjoy

#justonemore

I gave my niece an intro to fly fishing class for Christmas. We went this last weekend to take the class. Now in full disclosure, the great teacher teaching the class taught me when I began fly fishing several years ago. We fish together when we can. He has become a wonderful friend and is generous with his knowledge and experience. 

For this class he asked me to help out a little. I was surprised! I am a relatively new fisherman. I have a lot of passion for the art but I am only a few years into my learning curve. Litte did I know that this is what he was looking for- someone passionate about the sport but still remembered what it is like to fumble, get skunked, not know what to do most of the time. It probably doesn't hurt that I am a woman as 5 of the 7 class participants were women. 

It was such an honor and privilege to be able to give back to the fishing community that has given me so much. It has come so much faster than I expected. I still feel like I am in my infancy of fly fishing learning but right now it doesn't seem like catching fish is the only thing I am supposed to learn from this journey.. I think it is an important lesson that one doesn't have to be an expert to reach out and provide a supportive hand to others. Don't be afraid to be the person who helps- whatever it is you can do don't be afraid to do it. 

#helpingothershelpsmetoo

#feelinglikeabigfisherman

#allgrownup

#Istilldon'tknowwhatIamdoingmostofthetime

#thatdoesn'tstopmeonebit!

"Where are we going?" Keeper asks. "Why are we driving away from the smell of chicken wings and barbecue ribs?" "Because it is Super Bowl Sunday." I answer. As you can see, he doesn't quite grasp my reasoning. I try to fish on Super Bowl Sunday because I assume that I am the only person who couldn't care less about football that fly fishes. Generally I have my chosen waterway to myself for this day and I usually still get some leftover wings when I get back home.

Well, today several people were thinking like me. As I pulled into the parking lot at my favorite local waterway, there were at least 6 vehicles.... Ugggggg.... So many people! Luckily, not everyone was fishing and, luckily, everyone spread out. As Keeper and I neared my favorite spot, I held my breath in anticipation of finding someone there already. It was empty! As I waded out and Keeper settled down on the bank, I threw a few casts. Nothing. Changed the depth of my rig. Nothing. Changed flies. Nothing. Remembered some sage advice from a talented fisherman to simplify my rig and target emergers in a higher water column. Noth..... wait- did that indicator move? It did! Just barely though. The fish were hitting the fly very lightly and I have developed a very bad habit of setting the hook with a pull instead of a lift. It took a few bites for me to finally set the hook and land a trout. This trout was 12 inches easy. The next one was 14. This was very different from the smaller trout I generally pull from this spot. The fish on this "Super Sunday" were big- much bigger than usual, especially for this smaller waterway. I had caught trout this big before here but it was the exception. Today it was the rule. The light strike was at times imperceptible. My sets were overly aggressive. There were many fish missed but I had enough completions to feel like I left the water a winner- plus, there were leftover wings when I got home. Double win! #Amyforthewin #thelighterthestrikethebiggerthefishitseems #theyweretheretheentiretime #sizedoesntmatterbutthesefishwereawesome!

We recently had to put down our beloved Border Collie- He had three legs and was smarter than most dogs and people. Our family has been waiting for the right dog to come along to fill his paws. We have other dogs and they are great dogs but they are dogs. Cassidy was special. He was smart and funny and would look you straight in the eye- unless your were trying to take his picture. If you tried to take his picture, he would look away like you were trying to steal his soul with the camera. 

We heard about a dog that had been found. He had a chip but the previous owners shared that he had been dumped on purpose. To most, this would be a warning sign. Why would someone go to such lengths to get rid of a dog? There must be some terrible behaviors or oddities about him making him intolerable! But... the post talked about how smart this dog was. He knew several commands. He loved to cuddle. We went for it! My son named him "Keeper" and I hoped that he would live up to his new name. After a week with us, I took him fishing. While he is not perfect, we had a great day. Once we get our mutual expectations for fishing etiquette all ironed out, I think he will be a fantastic fishing buddy. 

#fishingdogintraining 

#heisakeeper 

#whointheworlddumpsadog? #dogsarebetterthanmostpeople

I love this picture.... This picture is the epitome of Delta Fly Fishers. The heart of this club is its members and their willingness to share their passion for fly fishing and the environment. Today at the NorCal Science and Technology Festival, I witnessed Charlie, Ron, Rich, Dena and Jerry share their knowledge and passion with several hundred learners of all ages. Flies were tied, stories were shared... seeds were planted about fishing, insects, rivers, and fish. More importantly, connections were made between fisherman and future fisherman. 

#bestclubever #theseguyshavetaughtmesomuchtoo #handsonlearning